“Over the years rape has become a confidence booster for a young man knowing that he is good at something. This makes him good at other things as well, since he now knows he can take on risks.” – Banele Rewo
Many think that rape comes from a man who is horny and wants to release the tension on a victim they could find. Rape is all about power in general. Powerlessness to be accurate. The powerlessness of the perpetrator to be specific.
When a man feels powerless or weakened whether by other men, lack of money, stress or trauma they feel the lowest. When feeling powerless, we feel we are also disrespected by everyone. Respect from people around us is of utmost importance to us. This disrespect makes us angry, and dangerous. It’s either we direct ourselves to alcohol, self-harm, drugs, crime or risky/harmful behaviour like bullying or getting into fights.
The easiest target to regain respect is not challenging other men, we know men are just as powerful as or more than us and they can kill us should we try to attack. The target is to prey on women and children. Rape is a violent act driven by power over another person. Men know how terrible rape is and that is why we are largely not threatened by the prospect of being beaten by other prisoners should we be arrested. Nor does serving a long time threaten us like being sexually assaulted by a powerful man who will take all our dignity for life even if we came back into the public.
Women who report on rape or molestation experiences often say that the people who took advantage of them when they were young, have or do try to repeat the assault even in adulthood. In most cases, once a rapist gets away with one rape, it becomes a new exciting game for them. No to oversimplify it but, some even start doing well in life, because they have a source of power that gives them confidence in life. Ever heard of a Doctor, Lawyer or a powerful man who has women falling over for him wanting to fuck him so much yet it comes out that he rapes women. How, when tons of beautiful and sexy women always throw themselves onto him? Why does need to rape?
The raping probably started when they were not successful men. It probably started when they were weak and broke. It may have started in drunk parties trying to please friends. Friends may have forced a young man to sleep with a woman even when he did not want to or the woman did not want to. But after bending over to what the group wanted him to do, his social status may have improved and became accepted by the group. This may have started a better social experience within the group with benefits and respect. Over the years rape has become a confidence booster for a young man knowing that he is good at something. This makes him good at other things as well, since he now knows you can take on risks and win.
To fix young boys from raping it’s not about teaching them to respect women, because it’s not that they don’t respect women. It’s them that seek respect. We need to affirm their ability to generate power by coaching them to be good at simple things they want to so or need to discover. When a young man is confident that he has the ability to do something and can be a success at it, they are less likely to be led into seeking social approval from peers to a point of self-destruction. When they learn to take risks through productivity they will not need to channel their power towards people that need protection from them
Writer- Banele Rewo
PhotoCred: @naba_laboloza
